Taking Action to Strengthen Your Marriage: Insights

In the last few years I have noticed trends in divorce cases as well as “red flags” that have led happily married couples to become unhappy, and ultimately move towards divorce. One of these trends, or behaviors, is fitness and exercise routines that are not shared in common between married couples. It stands to logic that married couples whom do not share the same fitness goals or routines often end up in our offices seeking divorce, more often than those that share common fitness goals.

We rarely see couples come into our office for divorce when they are engaging in fitness activities together. Cycling; yoga, spin classes at the local gym; or even attendance at gyms seem to be things that lead one partner to separate from the other partner when they do not do these things together. It is very common for us to see a divorce that occurs when one party begins to enjoy a fitness lifestyle and engages in activities away from their spouse. Inevitably, this is the beginning of the end for many couples.

Spend time together. By engaging in the same activities at gyms; couples stay together. They do not get involved with single people that prey on married people. Hopefully, the couple also grows and comes to enjoy a better sense of fitness and even look better, together. The truth is – it doesn’t matter if it’s the gym or something else – you need to have a way to connect. Just you two.

Fitness can increase someone’s basic happiness when they are feeling better both physically and mentally. In fact, physically fit individuals and their new energy levels can help drive romantic attraction, and seem to be inclined physiologically to engage in sexual activities.

There is also the sharing of a mutual goal, which increases emotional bonds between the partners. As a divorce lawyer, I cannot tell you how many divorces have started as a result of one partner looking and feeling better about themself, and separating from the other partner. The separation can begin first by just 3-4 classes in a gym; which leads to a new group of friends; a new lifestyle; and ends with the more transformed person wishing to shed everything about their past lifestyle. This is including their spouse who does not fit their new idea of what they want for themselves and their life.

Couples who train together, do something together usually stay together. Couples who pursue individual goals may find themselves a new social circle; and separating physically, mentally, and emotionally from their spouses.