Should I Get Divorced If My Spouse Wants To Swing?
Swingers are couples or singles who choose to have an open relationship, allowing their partners to have sex with other people, with their permission, of course. In the swinging world, couples make their own rules around what they need within relationships and marriages and vow to abide by the boundaries set forth. Couples or singles who select this type of lifestyle seek one or many partners for the pure excitement of getting from one partner what they don’t receive from their “main partner”, the number one significant other in their life.
For instance, one partner might enjoy the way someone else can satisfy them that their long term partner cannot do for them. When two people are very secure with themselves and a lot of trust is established then both feel comfortable allowing the other to have different mates. They can be of the same sex or different depending upon their mood for the day/night. Some couples choose to play with other couples and keep it with just them or they may branch off and find a couple mates to play with when they are feeling frisky or their husband/wife might be tired, a woman may have just had a baby and cannot have sex for at least six weeks, their partner might travel and leave their significant other feeling like they need someone to fulfill their sexual desires while they are recovering. Each couple chooses together what their life will look like within their relationship and plan and play accordingly. The benefits are they often times create lasting friendships with others of the opposite sex while enjoying sexual pleasures from them as well. Things never get stale and it usually spices up the bedroom when both mates are personally with each other.
Some couples enjoy watching other couples and learn to role play and seek sexual excitement from the scenarios they create with others and follow through on. To each his own and many people find their egos get a boost, self esteem is significantly increased as well as their moods, relationships might last longer if couples feel less pressure in the bedroom, no one has any financial obligations, and for some who cannot remain faithful find ways like this to still be married and have a family but are able to see others on the side to fulfill sexual pleasures outside of a loving relationship where both people agree this is what is best for them.
Divorce in Utah is referred to as Dissolution of Marriage and is conducted as a civil action, with one party, the Petitioner, filing a Petition for divorce, and the other party being named as a Respondent. To file for divorce in Utah, either spouse must be a bonafide resident of the state and must have lived in the county of filing for the three months immediately preceding commencement of the action. The Petition may be filed in the district court of the county where either spouse resides. If the Petitioner is a member of the armed forces of the U.S. who are not legal residents of this state, he/she may file for divorce if he has been stationed in the state for the three months immediately preceding the commencement of the action. No hearing for decree of divorce may generally be held until 90 days have elapsed from the filing of the complaint, provided the court may make interim orders that are just and equitable. The 90-day period shall not apply, however, in any case where both parties have completed the mandatory education course for divorcing parents. Although there are no statutory provisions for the restoration of a spouse’s name when divorcing, either spouse may request that his/her former name be restored on the Petition or the judge will honor the request.
Legal Grounds for Divorce
The court may decree dissolution of marriage for any of the following grounds:
• Impotency of the Respondent at the time of the marriage;
• Adultery committed by the Respondent after entering into the marriage;
• Willful desertion of the Petitioner by the Respondent for more than one year;
• Willful neglect of the Respondent to provide for the Petitioner the common necessities of life;
• Habitual drunkenness of the Respondent;
• Conviction of the Respondent for a felony;
• Cruel treatment of the Petitioner by the Respondent to the extent of causing bodily injury or great mental distress to the Petitioner;
• Irreconcilable differences of the marriage;
• Incurable insanity; or
• The spouses have lived separately under a decree of separate maintenance of any state for three consecutive years without cohabitation.
Most Common Reasons People Give For Their Divorce
Research has found the most common reasons people give for their divorce are lack of commitment, too much arguing, infidelity, marrying too young, unrealistic expectations, lack of equality in the relationship, lack of preparation for marriage, and abuse. Many of the common reasons people give for their divorce can fall under the umbrella of no longer being in love. Research suggests the nature of love changes over time. If you feel as if you have fallen out of love, marriage counseling may help offer a new perspective that will help you rediscover that love.
When there is a pattern of abuse in a marriage or in a family, not surprisingly there is evidence that ending the marriage is usually best for all involved. While some spouses are able to end and overcome abuse, abused spouses and children are usually better off when the marriage is ended. Sometimes, ending a marriage with an abusive spouse can be dangerous, however. It is probably a good idea to work with a domestic violence shelter in your community to help you end the relationship safely.
Most Americans say they would end their marriage if their spouse cheated on them. However, many couples (50-60%) who have dealt with infidelity in their marriages find the will and strength to stay together. Also, consider getting help from a well-trained marriage counselor and/or a dedicated religious leader, who will help you heal, decide what to do, and repair the marriage, if you decide to stay together. Recovering from infidelity can be very difficult to do without some help.
Addiction can come in many forms, such as alcohol, drugs, gambling, or pornography. In some cases, the addict can recover and the marriage can be repaired. In other cases, it is best for the spouse and children to separate from the addict to see if progress can be made. Each person has unique circumstances and must decide what is right for her or him. Again, consider turning to a trained professional and/or a religious leader to help you know how best to handle your situation.
According to a report published by AARP, infidelity still plays a significant role in why people file for divorce. It is reported that about 17 percent of divorces are caused by one or both partners being unfaithful. However, usually there is an underlying reason that causes a spouse to cheat, including anger, resentment, having varied interests, growing apart, or unequal sexual appetites.
Physical attraction to your partner can predict marital satisfaction in the long run. According to a recent study, conducted longitudinally, men reported feeling happy in their marriage if they perceived their wives as being attractive, with their satisfaction increasing over time. Women reported feeling about the same over time, without their satisfaction increasing or decreasing. For men, their spouse’s physical appearance can act as a future predictor for successful or unsuccessful marital outcomes.
In fact, lack of money can often cause marital problems to flare into a divorce filing. A married couple facing financial difficulties is often under a lot of stress, which in turn can lead to constant arguing and lack of communication. Couples who don’t see eye to eye on spending habits or that are in relationships where one spouse controls the finances are at risk for a divorce, with an estimated 40% of divorced couples noting this as the main reason for ending the relationship.
Lack of Communication
Healthy communication is one of the most important ingredients when it comes to a successful marriage. If one or both partners are not willing to work through their communication issues, marital satisfaction declines as both partners’ needs are no longer being met. Once parties stop communicating effectively, marital troubles that can lead to divorce may not be too far behind.
Nothing stays the same. Over time people grow, develop, and change. Around 55 percent of divorced couples cite growing apart from their spouse as their primary reason for ending the marriage. When partners’ lives, interests, or dreams become incompatible, the marriage can begin to suffer as a result. Divorce Magazine reports that incompatibility is often the reason people end up filing for divorce. Incompatibility can also lead to a spouse seeking interaction with a person of the opposite sex, which can lead to infidelity.
Unhappiness lies at the root of a high number of divorces. Sometimes individuals don’t realize that love is not enough to keep you happy. Some people get married and then realize that they are not cut out for marriage and what can come with that type of lifestyle. Research states that marital dissatisfaction is one of the top predictors for divorce.
Parenting Style Differences
Parenting is an even larger undertaking than getting married. Once children come into the picture, priorities change, lifestyles change, and for sure sleeping habits are impacted. Differences in parenting style is a major reason couples seek divorce. For example, imagine one parent believes in letting a child cry and the other believes in a more hands-on approach. Unless the parties can communicate and work out a common solution, issues like this could lead to a split.
Different Perceptions of Equality
A couple can marry with the expectation that both will share equally in the amount of work to run a household, as well as for expenses and financial decisions but in reality one spouse ends up in control or expected to do more than another. Or they can marry with an expectation based on their culture or religion that the division of labor and responsibilities will be unequal at the outset. Over time this can lead to anger and resentment by the spouse who feels they are treated unequally. If the couple cannot communicate and follow through with a respectful and fair distribution of labor and responsibilities for their home, finances and child rearing tasks, this can lead to a broken marriage and divorce.
Lack of Intimacy
Marriages were sex becomes rare or nonexistent are likely to end in divorce. Marriages can become sexless for several reasons, such as the partners growing emotionally apart, too busy and tired from work and caring for children or for medical issues, mental health problems and physical disabilities. Without counseling, marriages can fall apart without regular physical and emotional intimacy. About 15 to 20% of marriages in the U.S. are “sexless” and about 50% of these results in a divorce.
One spouse suffering from a serious or debilitating illness can often lead to divorce. In addition to a health problem causing problems for physical intimacy, it can lead to substance abuse, depression and anxiety, as well as financial issues like debt. More often than not, research has found that it is an illness suffered by the wife that leads to divorce. A wife with a stroke and heart disease in particular appear to significantly increase the chance of divorce.
Almost half of all marriages in the Utah are between interfaith couples. If these couples do not seriously discuss prior to marriage how religion will be handled in child rearing and other serious life events, divorce can result. Surveys have found that couples in interfaith marriages are at a risk of divorce that’s three times higher than non-interfaith couples.
Filing for Divorce
• Consider hiring an attorney: If your divorce is complicated, an attorney can help guide you through the process and ensure everything is done correctly. You may have difficulty going it alone if you have complex child custody or support issues, if you and your spouse have been married for a while and have a lot of property and joint assets, or if you and your spouse disagree about any of these issues.
• Don’t Prepare The Documents On Your Own.
• Use An Attorney To File your divorce
• Serve your spouse. Your Attorney Will handle this for you.
• Wait for an answer: After your spouse is served, they have 21 days to file a response to your petition. This time is extending to 30 days if he or she lives in another state. If your spouse files an answer, both of you must disclose to each other a Financial Declaration. On this form, each party discloses all income, assets, debt, and expenses both to the court and to each other. In addition, you must attach a number of financial documents, including pay stubs, copies of tax returns for the two tax years before the petition was filed, loan applications, financial statements, real estate appraisals, and other documents pertaining to any item listed on the form. If your spouse does not file an answer within the time specified on his summons, you may ask the court for a default judgment. A default judgment means you get everything you’ve asked for, and your spouse doesn’t have an opportunity to protest or tell their side of the story. Instead of a response contesting your petition, your spouse also may file a written stipulation that he agrees to the divorce. If you agree on the terms of the divorce, you should speak with your lawyer to get a settlement document completed.
When you need a divorce lawyer in Utah, please call Ascent Law LLC for your free consultation (801) 676-5506. We want to help you.
8833 S. Redwood Road, Suite C
West Jordan, Utah
84088 United States
Telephone: (801) 676-5506